Punchy AdviceArchives

April, 1995


Freddy asks Bob:
How can I overcome the impression that I am dull and boring?

Bob Bob answers:

Dear Freddy,
Learn three jokes and wear a Hawaiian shirt. It works GREAT for me!

"Elvis" asks Ooni:
The can of Spam reads 'Ingredients: Pork and Ham, Salt, Water, Sugar, Sodium Nitrate'. What's the mystery jelly? Please help me.
Ooni Ooni answers:
This "ingredients" thing is a silly human idea. A banana is banana. A coconut is coconut. A tasty green slug is tasty green slug. Ask Alphonzo. He's a Spam kind of guy.

Ooni asks Alphonzo:

What's the mystery jelly in Spam?
Alphonzo Alphonzo answers:
I don't know, but it gets into my meatloaf. I think it comes from the refrigerator.

Next: May 3 - 10, 1995


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