Punchy AdviceArchives

June 16, 1995


Rae asks Ruth:
Why don't people look on the inside before the outside? It makes it hard to find a decent boyfriend.
Ruth Ruth answers:
Very few people really see me on the inside, among them my dentist and my proctologist, and if you ask me, the fewer the better.

Sherri asks Alphonzo:
Is your first love your best love?
Alphonzo Alphonzo answers:
Oh definitely. My first love was... what was her name? Ellie or something. Well, come to think of it, she used to chew her hair... Wait a minute, was that Connie? No, Beverly was my first love, but she really hated my guts. What was the question?
Kelsey Kelsey adds:
Your first love is the most powerful! The stupifying, hallucinogenic effect of first love upon your unsuspecting psyche creates a more intense delusion of joy than you will ever feel again.

Which is good and bad, but as I said yesterday, I'm awfully dang glad to be over the worst of it.

Bradley Bradley adds:
When I'm in love, it's always the best one. (Sarah and I are now up to 500 e-mails! And I still haven't met her or talked to her on the phone. But she's so wonderful. She really understands me!)

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