Punchy AdviceArchives

July 2, 1995


"Brainiac" asks Ooni:
What is the secret of the universe and why is it a secret? I mean, who is benefiting by keeping this a secret?
Ooni Ooni answers:
Do you think anyone would tell a paranoid like you?

JR asks Ruth:
I have a friend who is always interrupting me when we talk. What should I do?
Ruth Ruth answers:
I don't know, dear. That never happens to me. But I once had a friend named Evey. Her late husband Roger used to interrupt her all the time before he died. She used to get very frustrated
Marty Marty calls:
Hey, Ruth, where's the oatmeal?
Ruth Ruth answers:
In the pantry. She'd be right in the middle of a story of who she met at the supermarket, and Roger would say, "Guess who I met at the barbershop?"
Marty Marty calls:
It's not in the pantry, Ruth.
Ruth Ruth answers:
Well I just bought some, so it's around somewhere. And then Roger would tell all about his own story. It was very confusing because I never got to hear the end of any of her ...
Marty Marty calls:
You put it in the refrigerator again, Ruth.
Ruth Ruth answers:
...own stories. After the funeral she spent three weeks telling the endings. But fortunately, I don't have that problem.

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