Punchy AdviceArchives

July 8, 1995


"Midnight Delight" asks Kelsey:
I'm separated from my husband because he abuses drugs. We've been separated for two years, but he doesn't want to get divorced. As far as I know he has stopped using, but I'm not sure if it's for good. Usually he turns to the drugs when he finds himself in a situation that he can't handle. I've already given him two chances to "change." Should I try a third?
Kelsey Kelsey answers:
If it were me, I wouldn't remotely consider spending my life worrying that my partner might flake out on me. You don't deserve that. And if you're going to have kids, they sure as heck don't deserve that.
Ruth Ruth says:
Men who are married think they must be okay. You stay married to such a man, you stay married to his problems.
Punjabi Punjabi adds:
Not to be sour wine unto your ears, but my mathematical background compels me to point out that despite the folk axiom "The third time is the charm," there is no substantive property to the number three that might influence the statistical likelihood that he will respond any differently next time.

Pamela asks Bob:
A friend of mine just told me ice cream is junk food! How could he say such a thing? To me, ice cream is a sacred dairy product! Pralines and cream, mint chocolate chip... need I say more? Was he just being mean or do you think he's actually gone crazy?
Bob Bob answers:
Those fancy ones with different pieces of things in them are too complicated. Just give me a big bowl of chocolate ice cream and I'm a happy camper! Yessir, chocolate for me please. Mmm-boy. And especially none of those little marshmallows. Just a big ol' glob of pure 100% chocolate ice cream that you can swish around in your mouth without getting nuts stuck in your teeth, that's how ice cream is meant to be. Now about junk food, when I was in the hospital they gave me ice cream, so that proves it.
Bradley Bradley adds:
Food is supposed to be good for you, and dessert is supposed to be just good. Food that isn't good for you fails it's purpose — that's why it's called junk food. Now ice cream is dessert, not food, so by definition it's not junk food. Your friend is crazy.
Ruth Ruth adds:
Ice cream gives me gas.

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