Punchy AdviceArchives

August 16, 1995


"Jo" asks Bradley:
My boyfriend and I have talked about getting married for about a year. He keeps telling me to be patient. I don't want to be patient, I want to be engaged. What should I do?
Bradley Bradley answers:
Well, the day my hard drive crashed, I went right down to the computer store and bought a new one. Meanwhile, there are some water stains on the ceiling that I've been meaning to paint over, ever since I moved into this office... Wow! that was two years ago!

It could be that marrying you isn't something he needs to do, so he never gets around to it.

On the other hand, my Aunt Sally has been inviting me over for dinner for the last five years. All Aunt Sally talks about is how bad Uncle Hal treated her all those years. I keep telling her that I'm looking forward to it when my schedule is not so crazy.

So, it could be that it's easy for him to say he'll marry you, but he doesn't really want to.

Then again, I really want a dog, but I remember my apartment and wonder what I would do with it all day while I'm at work, and a million other problems.

So it could be that he really wants to marry you, but he's just afraid of all the complications.

Hmmm. So I guess the best thing for you do to is find out what he's really feeling. That's not so easy.

Yesterday I had a tax client who told me he didn't earn any income last year. Now, that sounded pretty dang suspicious to me. But if I had said, "Okay, you liar, how much did you really make?" I would not have gotten an honest answer, plus I would have lost a good client. So I told him that I was not the IRS, and that I was there to help him, and that it was in his best interest to give me as much information as possible.

I guess my point is, if you want an honest answer out of him, make it okay for him to tell the truth.

Ruth Ruth attempts:
I can still remember when I didn't want to be patient. I can also remember when I wanted to be engaged. My bad luck, they were at the same time.

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