Punchy AdviceArchives

October 20, 1995


Nikki asks Kelsey:
When I got married the first time my mother did not come to the wedding and when I got married the second time she gave me used luggage and a coffee pot she got for free for joining a coffee club. She is now getting married for the second time and I was wondering if it is required that I bring a gift?
Kelsey Kelsey answers:
How could you pass up an opportunity like that?

Jenni asks Bob:
How can I get this guy I really like to ask me out? He did ask me out a couple of months ago, but my ex-boyfriend had just broken up with me, and I was feeling real hurt so I turned him down. Now, later on, I find that I like him, and now that I want him to ask me out, he's playing silent. What do I do?
Bob Bob answers:
You want to get him to ask you out? All I can think of is that joke where you get the other person to say, "What's up, Doc?" The way you do it is you say, "Hey, you've got some updoc on your back." And they say, "What's updoc?" And you say, "Silly Wabbit!"

So maybe you can say, "Hey, did you know there's a concert this Saturday at the Whatchamajigger?" And he says, "Yeah, are you going?" And you say, "Sure, what time do you want to pick me up?"

Alphonzo Alphonzo counters:
Geez, what's with you spineless, manipulative wimps? Why do you have to "get him" to ask you out? Just level with the guy. Say, "When you asked me out before, I just broke up with another guy, and I wasn't in the mood. Do you still want to go out?"
Bob Bob says:
Well, that might work, too.

LD asks Kauli:
My best friend for twelve years says he wants to marry me. I have always felt this way but neither of us is ready now. He still has a lot of growing up to do. I'm 21 years old, and in school. We have been friends since 6th grade and became lovers off and on from age 17-20. Now we are only best friends. He was not ready for commitment at the time so I exed the sexual part of the relationship. I have a 3 yr. old daughter; he loves her. Do I wait for him?
Kauli Kauli answers:
I don't know anything about getting married except that Mekaloonies don't bother.
Ooni Ooni adds:
The only way to tell if you're ready is if you stick yourself with a fork and your insides don't stick to it.
Marty Marty adds:
It sounds like he's committed now. Poor guy.

lisa marie asks Drizzle:
What do you do when you have a boyfriend that you really love, but you know he is no good for you?
Drizzle Drizzle answers:
I would stop seeing him.

Sue asks Kelsey:
I'm concerned about my son. He and his wife split over a year and a half ago and he still thinks she is coming back. She is seeing someone else. How do I get him to get on with his life?
Kelsey Kelsey answers:
Hey, Alphonzo, it's another "how-do-I get-him-to..." question.

Sue, forget it. If he wants to suffer delusions, that's his business, not yours. Get on with your own life.


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