Punchy AdviceArchives

December 4, 1995


Matt Connely asks George the Janitor:
Here's the deal, George. I was dating this girl that I really liked for over a year until she dumped me for no reason on Valentine's day. Brutal, huh? Well anyhow I still like her and would like to find a way to approach her, but don't know how because she thinks I'm the anti-Christ. It will have been a year since she dumped me this February and she still isn't seeing anyone. And no she's not a dog, she's gorgeous. Help!
George the Janitor answers:
im justthe jantor,but it stinks she dumpt yu on valatines day. its the "for no reason" part i dontby.

Esor asks Bradley:
Dear Bradley, what are the effects of abortion? I mean emotionally. I was a rape victim, and unfortunately I am now pregnant. I am considering abortion, but first I want all the information I can get, and I'm too scared to go to a clinic. Please help me.
Bradley Bradley answers:
Why are you asking me?
Kelsey Kelsey offers:
All I know is, it's a big decision and the effects will stay with you for the rest of your life. You need to talk to a live person real quick. I suggest you call Planned Parenthood and at least talk to someone on the phone.

Rachel asks Punjabi:
I think I am falling in love with my rabbi. Am I insane? How would I get him to fall for me as well?
Punjabi Punjabi answers:
I suspect that many sane people have fallen in love with their spiritual guides. However, to conclude that the relationship would succeed requires an unjustified leap of faith. I recommend that you acknowledge your feelings to your rabbi, but let go of any attempt to "get him" to fall for you.

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