My boyfriend's fridge is filled with 'no-name' brand products. He thinks that you only pay for the name on many food and grocery items...I can't get him to understand that 'Black Label Cream Cheese' just is NOT comparable to Philadelphia brand! He won't buy Ritz crackers or Heinz ketchup...there's always a store brand that's cheaper. What kills me is he owns a BMW 320 and a *very* expensive home entertainment center. Am I blowing this out of proportion or do I have a right to let this bother me?
Kauli answers:
Dump your boyfriend. I would not treat you like that. If you were my girlfriend I would buy a giant vat of Philadephia Cream Cheese for us to swim in.
Kelsey adds:
Your boyfriend has a right to choose whatever brand he wants. He has an unsophisticated palette when it comes to food. That's okay. The real point here, Special K, is that your boyfriend is not acknowledging your taste. If he wants you to be happy, he should get you the things you like, for no reason other than that you like them! You don't have to agree with each other's taste, just respect it!
Do you have to wash your face with Woolite, being a furry character and all?
Kauli answers:
I lick my fur. Don't you?
Well, my problem is that I can't stand one of my friends, but I don't know how to tell her to get lost. Please help.
Drizzle answers:
It sounds like you don't want to hurt this person's feelings, but you really would prefer if she didn't hang around you. It's nice of you to respect her feelings.I would suggest that when your friend does something you don't like, tell her how you feel about what she's done. For example, "You know, I really don't like it when you gossip like that, because it embarrasses me." Or: "When you tell me how hard your life is, it makes me feel awkward because there's nothing I can do about it."
Your friend will soon realize that she had better either change or stop hanging around you. It could be the biggest favor you could do for that person.
Just remember to say how you feel, and not what a bad person she is. Good luck!
Is the internet just a fad?
Alphonzo answers:
I used to think so, but now that I have my own home page, I'm more aware of its noble and valuable purpose.
I have this awful rash on my gazoobie and it's driving me nuts! Can you help?
Ooni answers:
That sounds terrible! I've never heard of a gazoobie, but I'd get it removed quick!
Should I get married?
Bradley answers:
You're lucky. Some people want to know if they ever will.
Kelsey puts in:
If you have to ask, no.
Ruth adds:
No.
Marty also adds:
No!
Will I die tommarow?
Marty answers:
I doubt it. I got hit by a damn bus once and I'm still kicking. But you never know. Let me know if you do.
As we all know, the Moon is made of green cheese. This being the case, how can things that happen once in a Blue Moon ever occur?
Drizzle answers:
Dear Paul,My advice is to get a pleasant hobby, preferably something social such as basketball or contra dancing. You should get out more with people.
Bradley adds:
My understanding is that a Blue Moon is the rare occurrence of a full moon for second time in a single month. Not the actual color of the moon. But why is it called "blue"?
Ooni says:
I didn't know the moon was made of green cheese!
Kauli shouts:
The moon is not green!
Alphonzo shouts louder:
Would you guys knock it off?
What should I do about my boss? He knows so little about today's technology, that he wastes more time that any of us have available to waste.
Alphonzo answers:
Now just hold your horses, you greenhorn over-achiever! What's technology got to do with being the boss? I'm a great boss and I don't know how to use the electric pencil sharpener! That's what I've got guys like you for!Now get back to work!
How can a person who spends their whole life being hateful, vindictive and angry get away with acting this way? Doesn't it eventually catch up with them??
Punjabi answers:
People such as this, my friend, do not truly enjoy themselves or their own world, no matter how satisfied they may appear.
why do some people have innies and some people have outies for belly buttons?
Punjabi answers:
The more to contemplate.
Why do socks get lost in the washing machine?
Alphonzo answers:
That explains it! I always thought they got lost in the dryer!
Why is there air?
Ruth answers:
Personally, I use it in lemon meringue pies. But at my age, climbing the steps every day to this "dreamhouse" that Marty and I live in, I'm not so interested in why there is air as why there isn't there more of it.
People give me advice all the time, but I don't want to take it. What should I do?
Drizzle answers:
Ho, ho, that is very amusing.
My best friend is leaving town because of a better job. How can I get him to stay?
Punjabi answers:
I understand that you will miss your friend, but one must question whether one's desires are in one's friend's best interests or one's own.
Will Julie meet a good man in the next 12 months? She really deserves one. She's such a sweetie.
Alphonzo answers:
Give her my phone number. But wait a minute, why don't you like her?
First of all, when I look at your face I burst out laughing. My question is: Will Beagley win the summer ultimate frisbee league this summer?
Bradley answers:
Dear Michael, this is an advice column, not a fortune-telling service. My advice is to take your frisbee and stick it up your nose.Hmphhh!
I'm moving to an apartment and I will have to cook for myself. Can you give me one of your best recipies? One that's easy to make.
Ruth answers:
Here's a tasty recipe that only takes 30 minutes:Place corn chips in large bowl. Place chips and salsa near TV set. Watch 1 game show.
- 1 bag corn chips
- 1 tub salsa
How do you know if someone is telling the truth?
Kauli answers:
If they have feathers sticking out of the top of their heads, they're telling the truth. Trust me!!!
Alphonzo adds:
Usually, if it's about me, it's a lie. Unless I said it.
Punjabi offers:
Much is revealed by how much the speaker has to gain.
Kelsey says:
I look 'em in the eye and stare 'em down.
Do you know that you look like my good friend Ted that lives in Boulder, CO.? Are you related somehow?
Bradley answers:
Send me a picture of Ted, and I'll decide if I think that's a compliment. Hey! I know! Let's have a Bradley look-a-like contest! Me and the top ten winners can all go help Michael with that Frisbee.