Punchy AdviceArchives

June 8, 1995

Samuel Shiffman asks Kauli:
This is a bit of a two parter. The first part is Where should I move? Currently I live in New jersy and as all Humans and (whatever you are) know, New Jersey is no place conducive to a good mental outlook. Second, if I move, should I take my record collection?
Kauli Kauli answers:
Me and Ooni always go where we can raise the most havoc. We live anywhere. There are trees in every country, so you always have something to sleep in.
Ooni Ooni adds:
And if you bring the records, then you need to bring the record player. Then you need to bring a stereo to plug it into. Then you need to bring the bookcase to put it all in. Then you need the speakers, and then you need the plants to sit on top of the speakers.

Throw away all your records and take up playing the coconut shells, like us.

John asks Bradley:
How old am I?
Bradley Bradley answers:
Advice column! Advice column! Read the title. This is an advice column!
Punjabi Punjabi intervenes:
Bradley, my friend...
Bradley Bradley exclaims:
I know! I'm not supposed to yell at the readers! But I am getting sick and tired of these guessing game questions. If this keeps up I'm quitting!
Marty Marty answers:
Kelsey Kelsey offers:
Probably in college. I'll say 20.
Ooni Ooni asks:
How many rings do you have?
Bob Bob guesses:
24! Hey, this is fun!
Bradley Bradley sighs:
Oh, never mind!

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