Punchy AdviceArchives

June 20, 1995

"Ludwig" asks Bradley:
I am thinking about becoming a Canadian citizen. Do you think that is a good idea?
Bradley Bradley writes back:
Not to be nosy, but what citizenship are you now? Why you are considering switching? Is there a woman involved, perhaps? Do you just like Canadians, or their weather, or have you done something illegal?
"Ludwig" e-mails back:
I am currently a citizen of the USA who thinks Canada and Canadians are hell cool. I would like to have a woman involved, but at present that is not a part of the picture. However, Meg Tilly lives in Vancouver and Anne of Green Gables lives on Prince Edward Island. Not that I know them or expect to have anything going on with them in the future; just an example of the coolness of Canada. Also: X-Files and 21 Jump Street are/were filmed there, the metric system, the revolutionary Quebecois, and hockey. All those are very very hip and cool things about Canada. Plus Brian Adams, Loverboy, Anne Murray, and Michael J. Fox... Canada man, be there or be square.
Bradley Bradley answers:
Sometimes the place we're born and raised in doesn't feels as much like "home" as some other place. It sounds to me like you should not only become a citizen, you should head up the Canadian Ministry of Boosterism.

Personally I wouldn't be that influenced one way or the other by Michael J. Fox. But my dear beloved e-mail sweetheart Sarah lives in Calgary! I've never been there, but if she would only tell me her last name or where she lives, I would visit her in a New York minute!

Nihongo Bongo asks Punjabi:
A two-part question: Part A: How do you advise your students when they get 'pi' and 'pie' mixed up in your cooking class? Part B: Has Ruth ever taken one of your cooking classes?
Punjabi Punjabi answers:
Part A: It has not happened, but I would tell them they exhibited special talents and would recommend that they take my advanced private tutoring. Part B: Fortunately Ruth's doctor dissuades her from ingesting spicy foods; otherwise Part "A" might well have happened.

P.S. It is a mathematical curiosity that while pi and e are both constants, when multiplied together, they produce not another constant, but a traditional dessert, giving rise to the theory that Constants are Impossible, otherwise known as Sara Lee's Paradox. But like most people, I am not very amused by math humor.

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