Punchy AdviceArchives

June 28, 1995

We still have not heard from Bradley, who by now has certainly arrived in Calgary, in Alberta, Canada, to seek out a woman named Sarah T., with whom he has been sharing an intense e-mail correspondence for several months. The last we heard, they had shared over 500 e-mails, but he has never met her or even spoken with her on the phone. He has no idea what she looks like, nor does he have her address or phone number or last name (except that it begins with "T".) However, Bradley feels that Sarah understands him, and that they would be perfect together, if only she weren't so shy.

Al asks Bob:
Should I take a wild vacation this summer?
Bob Bob answers:
By golly, Al, you've really hit home with that one! I've had my nose to the old grindstone all year long, and boy oh boy I'll tell you, I could really stand a little R&R if you catch me drift. I used to think R&R meant railroad. But it really means rest and recreation. Because I'm not a big train fan or anything. Some people are. Some people really like trains. To me they're just big and noisy, but they're all right.

Oh, yeah, back to this vacation thing. I think you've got a really good idea there. I could stand to have a wild hair once in a while myself. Like, what if I really cut loose this summer and went someplace like Disneyland! Hey, whatdoyasay we go together? Wouldn't that be fun, Al? Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate's life for me, eh, Al?

"Goggle Head" asks Stone Head:
I keep finding things to do on my computer that's NOT work. I still do my work, but I'm increasingly distracted by the WWW, e-mail, Hearts, DOOM, writing for advice, etc. etc. I don't clean my house, wash my dishes, I've stopped seeing my friends. Help!
Stone Head Stone Head answers:
If this talisman holds such power over you, you must destroy it by fire, by metal, by water, by earth or by air. This must be done before the next sun rises in the East.

And don't give me any "But-I-need-it-for-my-work!" crap!

"Stumped" asks Bradley:
My cousin Stewart and I had this huge debate and I'd like you to settle it! If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it ...
Kelsey Kelsey interrupts:
Stop! You better not be making fun of Bradley! He's expressed himself quite clearly on this question. If you're deliberately baiting him, I'll personally track you down and...!

Sorry. Out of line. It's been a rough couple of days for me, okay? I only hope Bradley doesn't see your question here! But if he does, well, Bradley, we're pulling for you! Be safe!

(Oh, man, I really flew off the handle there, didn't I? Maybe I need to get away.)

Bob Bob interjects:
Great idea, Kelsey. Wanna go to Disneyland with me?

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