Punchy AdviceArchives

June 29, 1995

Kelsey Kelsey says:
Dear readers, before we begin, I first want to apologize for my behavior in yesterday's column. I was on the verge of actually threatening "Stumped" with bodily harm, because I thought... well, it doesn't matter. "Stumped" wrote back and was extremely upset, but we've both since apologized. But I promise not to get in any arguments with the readers again!

"Bugged" asks Ruth:
I have a friend who won't stop bugging me. What should I do?
Ruth Ruth answers:
Tell your friend you need a thousand dollars for your intestinal hernia operation. You'd be amazed how many friends I lost!
Ooni Ooni advises:
Ask if she wants cream in her coffee, then put spinach in it instead!
Kauli Kauli adds:
Every time she comes over, spray her with room freshener!
Ooni Ooni goes one more:
Leave big wads of tissue hanging from your nostrils!

Elizabeth asks Kelsey:
I have been seeing a really great guy for a couple of years now. Everything has been going great...I am divorced and have two girls, whom he obviously adores. We have been living together for about six months. He loves me, and tells me and shows me that he does every day. But I would like to get married someday, and I don't know how he feels about it or how to approach him. Besides, I'm afraid that I have taken away his desire to get married by living with him, kinda like "having your cake and eating it too." What do you think?
Kelsey Kelsey answers:
You live with each other and love each other, and you have no idea how the other feels about marriage? Don't you ever turn off the TV and just talk to each other? Hello!

Bradley Bradley writes:
Hey gang, I'm in Calgary! I'm having a great time. I love my work, but it's nice to get away once in a while. Last night I got takeout from a nice Italian restaurant and ate my fettucini in the park watching the sunset.

Haven't found Sarah yet, but I'm getting close! I know her service provider from her e-mail address, of course, so I went to their office and begged and pleaded for her phone number, but they refused me.

So today I went to Plan B, but I can't let Sarah know what it is! Sarah, PLEASE just write to me! It would make it so much easier! I LOVE you!!!

Anyway, tonight I'm going to this nightclub again where they have a really cool band. I danced all night last night!

Ciao, everyone!

Kelsey Kelsey answers:
Good to hear from you Bradley! Gald you're having a good time.

"Zool" asks Kelsey:
How can I get back at my older brother after he wins an argument?
Kelsey Kelsey answers:
Oh, that's just great! You want to retaliate because you're wrong! Maybe you should try arguing less and not making such an idiot out of yourself!

Alphonzo Alphonzo asks Kelsey:
"Gald" you're having a good time?
Kelsey Kelsey answers:
Huh? Glad. Sorry, typo. Glad you're having a dood time! Good time!

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