Punchy AdviceArchives

July 17, 1995

"Kiska" asks Alphonzo:
I am a very tall, attractive woman. I have no problem meeting men, and I have a steady boyfriend. But I lack social skills with women. I would like a female friend who doesn't wind up as a backstabber. Women constantly ask me my beauty secrets, but almost never invite me to go anywhere. How can I get back in touch with women, instead of having so many male friends?
Alphonzo Alphonzo answers:
I've got the same problem. I get along great with Tony and Bubba and all the guys at the bowling alley, but I never get invited anywhere by women either. Anyway, I'm glad to see you don't think I'm sexist. See, everybody?
Kelsey Kelsey rejoins:
"Alphonzo" is the first name on the pulldown menu. This is obviously one of those cases where he got picked by default.

Kiska, it's easy for you to attract men, because you're good-looking. But you can't expect those same qualities to attract female friends. Friendship is sharing, and caring about another person's welfare. Forget about the beauty tips and develop a sense of humor. Seek out women who enjoy art or music, or whatever you enjoy. Look for other things in common besides looks.

Kauli Kauli offers:
Forget men. Forget women, too. Once you've tried a Mekaloony, you'll never go back!
Bob Bob notes:
I once saw Vanna White in person!
Ruth Ruth adds:
None of my friends are beautiful. (No offense, Dolores.) But we all play bridge and enjoy discussing our surgeries.

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