Punchy AdviceArchives

July 29, 1995

"Magpie" asks Bradley:
So why haven't you asked Kelsey out yet? She's attractive, insightful, smart, and she's really nice to you. She always defends you so you can finish your thoughts and she always had encouraging and pleasant greetings for you when you wrote in from Calgary.

I'd also like to suggest that you investigate greyhounds as dogs because they are good-tempered, athletic, friendly animals, and you can get them free, as many states have greyhound rescue associations that place retired racing greyhounds with good homes instead of letting the tracks put them to sleep.

Bradley Bradley answers:
Well, er, um... Kelsey and I are good friends, but I'm not her type. She likes guys that are like, athletic and everything. And she loves to go dancing and I don't dance very well. I step on my own feet. And besides she's an inch taller than me, but I think she's really cute. Anyway, thanks for the tip about greyhounds. That's a great service. But as a pet for my apartment, aren't they gigantic? I'd rather have a dog that doesn't needs a stable.
Kelsey Kelsey says:
Bradley, you're so silly. I would have gone out with you if you had asked me.
Bradley Bradley says:
You would have? What do you mean you would have? Will you go out with me?
Kelsey Kelsey replies:
No. If you really liked me you would have asked me a long time ago.
Bradley Bradley says:
Wait a minute. I need to think about this.

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