Punchy AdviceArchives

October 6, 1995

Sage asks Bradley:
What should I do when it's Saturday morning, I haven't had any coffee, there isn't any coffee in the house, and I can't get up the energy to leave the house to have some coffee? And I'm getting crabbier by the minute because I need my caffeine fix? Not drinking coffee doesn't work -- last time I tried that I ended up in an all-night diner, stumbling through the door, wailing, "18 mugs of coffee! Cream AND sugar! NOW, it's an emergency!"
Bradley Bradley answers:
Don't you keep a jar of instant in your emergency kit? I do.
Bob Bob adds, somewhat non-sequitorally:
One time I wanted to say "howdy" to the new neighbor across the street, 'cause you know I'm a naturally friendly person. I went over and started talking, and said "Hey, guy, you got any brew?" He thought I meant beer. He said, "It's pretty early, isn't it? But okay." I was too embarassed to admit that I meant coffee, so we had beer. Maybe that's what you should do in your situation. Drink.
Punjabi Punjabi offers:
It has been said that whenever any gratification becomes so powerful that it has you in control, instead of you controlling your use of it, that is an addiction. Addictions can be pleasant, but they are opposite of freedom.

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