Punchy AdviceArchives

October 24, 1995

Budster asks Kauli:
I'm not sure if I should take a promotion at work that would pay me a generous salary, or if I should stay in school for four more semesters. I'm only twenty three years old and married and we need a larger income. What do you think, Kauli?
Kauli Kauli answers:
School or work? Some choice! We keep trying to tell you guys — live in the treees! It's so much easier!
Punjabi Punjabi clarifies:
Your decision, my friend, should depend on a long-term strategy, not just the needs of the moment. Will getting your degree enable you to earn substantially greater income in the long run? If so, you'd be better off paring your budget for the short term and going back to school. (Hint: not to preach, but a vegetarian diet is greatly more cost-efficient than an animal-centered diet.) If not, then you may as well take the promotion and continue your education in the real world.

And please do not overlook how greatly your heart is set on this degree. Is it something you love? Will you spend the rest of your life regretting that you missed your opportunity to explore it?

Tony Rotundo asks Stone Head:
What is the meaning of life?
Stone Head Stone Head answers:
What is the meaning of Tony Rotundo?

"Freddie" asks Punjabi:
Every time I see this certain girl, I feel nauseous. Is it Love?
Punjabi Punjabi answers:
If it is, my friend, you had better keep plenty of flight bags handy.

Kiel asks Kauli:
My girlfriend is not showing any interest in me. What should I do?
Kauli Kauli answers:
Stop calling her your girlfriend, you dreamer.

"Pepita" asks Alphonzo:
What can I do if I don't know anybody I love and I feel so lonely?
Alphonzo Alphonzo answers:
First, get a job in a hell-hole office where they treat you like slaves. Then, sit in the lunchroom every day bitching with your fellow workers about the management. You will have lots of friends in no time. It works for me.

Randy Spreadwell asks Punjabi:
I have a problem when I'm sweeping my tiled floor. I make sure there are no draughts in the room but, nevertheless, the mere action of the broom, however gentle, creates air currents that send the dust swirling around in the air. Before I've even finished sweeping, there are little clumps of dust all around the room. What should I do? I don't want my visitors to think that I never sweep up.
Punjabi Punjabi answers:
It is an odd curiosity that one's house always looks the most messy when one is in the process of cleaning it. A half-painted house looks much worse than one with old paint. So do not be discouraged by the apparent disorder during the sweeping. Change — even change for the better — always stirs things up a bit, and sometimes you must simply wait for the dust to settle.
George the Janitor adds:
justusea wet mop.

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